your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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