I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
