OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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