Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How does one acquire holy water?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He did a backflip because drugs
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