I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
