I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
