I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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