But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
