Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
