nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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