Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
