And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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