you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
