I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
