i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
