oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
