yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
