I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
