You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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