apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
