You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I deserve this hangover.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
