is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
