i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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