Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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