My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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