the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
