He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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