Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I love you. Go after that dick
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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