the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We need to rekindle our bromance
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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