I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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