I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
