I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
