thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
only you would photoshop your dick
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
