I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
