he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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