When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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