do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
