I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
