none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
