How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
