i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
