I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
