hotel room ftw
i just had sex bonerless
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
