oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
