Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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