i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
