it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
