Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
