Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
