My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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