Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
