I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The feeling are messing with the penis
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
