Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
false alarm, still single
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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