Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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