Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
