I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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