some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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